Chapter Two: A Gentle Soul
"I think that will be all for today, Your Highness."
The shadows in the library continued to lengthen as the sun set over the great walls of the Imperial capital of Alantaiya. The young woman gave a sigh and rose reluctantly, collecting her books and beginning the long process of returning them to their original places. Her teacher watched her absently as she patiently placed each book on its respective shelf.
Evalia fa Telemari, Heir to the Imperial throne, was a mere eighteen years of age. The eldest daughter of the royal family stood at five feet three inches, and was very petite and delicate looking. Her face was of a gentle nature, composed of soft lines and sloping curves. Hair of a fiery red, was arranged in a half bun with scattered braids falling down. Her appearance was decidedly innocent, more pretty than beautiful.
"Are you still going to Legacy, then?" her instructor inquired. Tol-Nawayi was one of the few masters in the service of the imperial court that was allowed close contact with the future ruler of the Empire. The mage was surprisingly young for such accomplishment, being only mid-way through his twenties. He had overseen the princess's studies for five years, since he was closer to her in age than the other imperial mages. In that time, he had watched her grow from an inquisitive child to a tender and intelligent young woman. Really, it would be different, seeing someone like her on the throne of the Hall of Crowns.
She inclined her head. "Yes." Her voice was very soft naturally. He couldn't recall a time when she had risen it in anger.
"Even with reports of criminal activity in the capital?" The concern he felt for the girl he had taught and helped raise was clear. To be honest, he didn't want her leaving the capital at all. She would attract attention, not only with her distinct appearance and obvious wealth, but just with her personality. She was far too trusting, and he worried about her wellbeing for it.
"Tol-Nawayi, I won't be able to rule this Empire if I don't see more of it with my own eyes," she said mildly. Underneath all of that, he could feel her innate stubbornness beginning to leak through.
"I suppose there's no convincing you otherwise."
"No, I'm afraid not."
He straightened, adjusting the front of his robes. "It should only be fair to warn you to expect some resistance and confrontation on your journey." Legacy Springs were on the very outskirts of Draza, being located on the desert border. It was a two-day ride from Alantaiya, but a lot could happen in two days.
"I am confident in my safety." Her steady gaze met his own unsure one. Tol-Nawayi himself was very fair, being from the Southern Territories of the Empire, and possessed ash blonde hair and pale blue eyes. In contrast, the eyes that were so assuring yet so naïve were a deep burgundy hue, the color of exotic spiced wine. She was so full of color, laughing easily and smiling freely for the most part, but he knew that there was an even more beautiful part of her, locked and hidden away for the better part of half a decade. Hidden so deep that she herself had forgotten it even existed.
For what seemed the millionth time, he wished that, somehow, she would meet someone who would bring that out of her.
***
After dinner, Lia exited the hall through the east side to go out to the Lily Pavilion. She spent a few hours there each day out of habit, it was true, but it was mostly out of necessity. Her favorite time was at sunset and those precious few hours of cool Drazi twilight, when the Northern lilies would unfurl, setting free the sweet scent they were famed for. The deep purples of the sky would be reflected in the shallow pool in the center, making the white flowers appear to glow.
The princess spent almost all of her free time here, in the place of refuge her mother had created.
Lia had never known her mother, the late Queen Rimeria fa Nolindori. She had been the king's second wife, and had died in childbirth. The princess had only seen portraits, and felt it was safe to say that the daughter did not resemble the mother at all. Rimeria's hair had been a fine white-blonde, almost shimmering with the ocean's brilliance. Sharp, dark blue eyes were set into a beautiful pale face. Her looks reminded one of water, and those of her daughter's resembled fire. However, the same could not be said of their personalities. Rimeria had been outspoken and very much a thrill seeker. The princess was much more withdrawn and quiet. The late queen had had a stunning charm that Lia never would possess. Hers was a silent grace.
Her mother's memory made her feel comforted, and yet so insignificant in comparison.
"Here again?" The source of the voice interrupting her thoughts belonged to her older brother, Prince Liyal. He was older than she by four years, and surpassed her in stature by standing two inches shy of six feet. He had thick brown hair like their father's , but his late mother's light green eyes. Out of all her siblings, he was the one who spoke to her the most. Their relationship was a little more than simple sibling coexistence: both felt a strong affection for the other. "Nevai won't like it if she finds you here," he reminded her, referring to their stepmother, the current queen.
His younger sister shrugged lightly. "And what can she do about it? To complain about something so simple and innocent of wrongdoing would be petty and immature. Do you think she would really sink that low?"
Liyal regarded her carefully. "Nevai thinks you come here for reasons other than those you and I both know to be true. She's never liked you, and you know that. She'd think of any reason to discredit you and destroy your reputation, so—"
"Any more than it has been already?" she laughed bitterly.
"Lia…"
"What? Did I lie? You and I both know she can't deal a blow that hasn't already struck down my reputation."
"Haven't I already told you not to dwell on that?" he said quietly. He held open his arms, and embraced her warmly. "They were in the minority, Li. Don't let that get to you."
Liyal was the only one who spoke to her so lovingly; her younger siblings all called her by her full name, Evalia, and her teacher always referred to her as 'Your Highness'. Liyal truly adored his younger sister, calling her 'Li' when it was just the two of them: teaching her how to play maikio, a strategy game native to the Southern Territories, or reading out loud to her. He was always so animated when reading her some outlandish tale or myth, even going so far as to act it out as he went, if only to see her smile. And it slowly crushed his heart, to know that she was smiling less and less, and her self-doubt grew.
"It's hard to let it slip by when that minority is louder than everyone else," she whispered with a breaking voice.
He held her by the shoulders, and looked at her directly. "Now you listen to me. The cheers for you when you walk out to the Western Balcony as the new Empress of Draza will be louder than those shouts ten-fold. I know it." His firm smile reassured her, and brightened her own face.
"Thank you, Liyal."
"Anything and everything for you, little sister."
***
It would be eleven years in exactly two days, since the Mage's Square riots. She had only been seven at the time, but she could remember it vividly. Nightmares of that event continued to haunt her, even after all this time. The shouts, sounds of shattering glass, raging fires. They were all as real to her as though they had occurred yesterday.
Running from it wouldn't help her now, as much as she wanted to. She had tried to escape from that, from her identity and the responsibilities that accompanied it. In the end, it had all caught up with her, in more ways than one. She had immediately regretted it, and made a personal vow not to make that tragically stupid mistake twice.
Despite her vow, the recurring dreams worried her, and they had become increasingly frequent with the approach of her departure to Legacy, and the eleven year anniversary of the riots. Liyal didn't put any stock in dreams, and would write hers off as superstitious nonsense, and she didn't dare tell Tol-Nawayi, who would force her to stay home. He was concerned about her enough as it was; she didn't want to give him another excuse.
It truly was times like these that she wished she had a mother she could talk to. Her own mother. A mother who had been dead for eighteen years; one she had never known. A woman who she had only heard stories of, mostly through her brother and some of the servants who had known her.
"Natta," she began, the word for 'mother' slipping past her lips. Her voice cracked as she spoke, and the endearment disappeared in the air of her room. "Natta, what should I do?"
That's the question we all ask ourselves, darling. We don't always get an answer. At least, not right away.
"You have the potential to be the greatest Empress Draza has seen since your namesake, Evalia the Great." His voice was so calm and reassuring, reminding her of cool water, a person not easily disturbed or aggravated.
"But what if I'm not?"
"Li, remember: the Empire's counting on you." This voice was one she had come to depend on as the years dragged by, a warm voice that constantly assured her that she was wanted, and loved.
"Maybe they're counting on the wrong person."
"You were born a leader. Have faith in your abilities." The cool feeling lay over her skin as his voice spoke, wrapping her in a cocoon of certainty.
"I can't do it, Li. I know you can." He never once had tried to drag her down like the others had, and the warmth and love in his speech never faded.
"They hate me. They all do."
"You can't blame yourself for things beyond your control. Come on, Li. You know better than to do that to yourself." He had never understood why she continued to question herself, long after she had proven her abilities.
"Those that hate you do so out of ignorance and prejudice. The wise ones will not judge you so." He sounded so sure, so quietly confident that for but a moment, she couldn't help believe him.
Tears were running down her face as she sat heavily on her bed. She sobbed into her hands, "Outside of the palace, there is no one! No one I can talk to, no one I can trust."
The love of your brother and teacher are not enough? You must have the friendship and love of outsiders to be whole? The voice she had spent eighteen years not knowing, and would never know. The woman she could not love, only her memory.
"Everyone will leave you, desert you, hate you, and loathe your very existence. It is your fate. You will be alone. That is the destiny for you and all those like you." This voice chilled her to the very bone in its relentless hate for her and her family, the words soaked with venom and malice.
"I always wanted you to meet someone who'd bring out the best in you, Li. So that way you could feel what it was like, being loved and needed for you. Maybe you could tell me about it sometime." He had resigned himself to the life of a noble, an existence that prevented him from being loved for who he was outside of his family. Had she done the same?
"But what if I don't? I'm not beautiful like you, Natta. I'm not strong like you. I can't come home and be expected to rule a country."
You are my daughter, beautiful and strong in your own way. And one day, you'll see it.
"Keep telling yourself that, Li, and it'll become true. We know you aren't like that. Don't let other people dictate your life, remember? We are of Telemari blood, descendants of Evalia the Great, who founded this country and led the fight against the Southerners for our freedom. Live your life like they would. It's yours to live, not theirs."
She went to sleep with those words echoing in her mind, the wisdom of her brother finally calming the turmoil in her heart.
"It's yours to live, not theirs."
